T H E B E A U T I F U L F E A R
THE BEAUTIFUL FEAR is a self created term which represents the frightening, yet beautiful, changes required in life. The term also operates as a moniker and vehicle for my songwriting.
In 2008, lifted by a new friendship, I checked my instruments out of storage, dusted them off, and provided them a corner in my new apartment on Pierrepont Street in Brooklyn. Initially they made for nice looking, yet somewhat anxiety provoking, furniture. They reminded me of what I perhaps could/should have been doing. In time I started to regularly pick them up and reacquaint myself with how good it felt to have a musical instrument in my hands. As a form of unintentional therapy, new songs started to pour, but due to the lack of any kind of forum, the ideas evaporated as quickly as they had fallen to me. The subject of the songs however started to form a theme and a longing unavoidable question started to emerge. Through the writing I felt I could work towards the changes required of me to answer that question.
In 2010 I began to document, the unraveling, in a home studio that I had assembled. In 2012 I encouraged, a former bandmate, Carl Negin to also build a mirror studio in his attic in Baltimore so that he could help me record my rapidly expanding vision. At first there was little desire or plan to make the works public, but overtime I have gradually felt increasingly compelled to share it.
Currently I am working on part TWO ‘present but never there’, which is a considerably longer and more ambitious piece. It picks up on New Years Day in 2012 and completes the story in July 2014 with the song ‘The Beautiful Fear’. TWO will be a double album in length and will have a variety of guest musicians contributing various parts.
Current track listing TWO- present but never there.
1 Doll’s Eyes
2 The Gentlemen’s Agreement
3 A Still Life
4 Learned By Rote
5 Design Disease
6 The Proof Of Existence
7 Comes Clean
8 Moonshine Blind
9 My Simple Friend
10 The Beautiful Fear
Addicataclique background art work. 'Caprice" ( the falling nudes painting ) with kind permission from Harry Holland.
Memory collages and additional photography by THEBEAUTIFULFEAR